You know, last year I was cool. First hopelessly, tragically bored with my look, and then I treaded the cool boards. My haircut doesn't vary much, and the previous variation on "short" was when I went from short-and-kept to short-and-scruffy, oh.. about 8 years ago. Not even that scruffy, since that involves product, and I'm not much into self-maintenance. Still- I found a product I liked and that met with general smell-test approval (oh yes- even acclaim!), and there I had it- a variation. But 8 years of scruffy and nice-smelling went by in a flash, and I was ready for change.
Then, like destiny, I saw this guy walk down a kitsilano street- he was in his 30s, but he had the coolest grey hair. Aha! I thought. In I went, to see my hairstylist. I knew I was onto something good when she was thrilled with my idea. She kept me under the dryer for almost 4 hours, and at the end- a triumphal prounouncement of grey! For 3 whole days, I believe I had grey-white hair, and then it brassed into blonde. Dang it. Still- I noticed definite approval from passing children, so I figured I must be cool. I will accept cool, or looks of misgiving that suggest the children fear me- either outcome gratifies my self-image.
But I have a problem- literally every third person I run into is doing it- patches of blonde, stylishly and playfully added to the head content (not grey though- they haven't ascended to that coolness level yet).
In my head, I am stamping my feet. Clearly, the only solution is yet another new variation. I have experimented with holes in my head, tattoos, dog-fur on every item of my clothing, and body hair in debateable places. Should I just light something on fire? Perhaps sport ears of perpetual flame? (something understated- just the suggestion of flaming ears, not some huge garish flame...). How about a leather necklace with something that might either be a sex-toy, or a clever allusion to one (ok, no, ew). I honestly can't think of something that both appeals to me, and would allow me to keep working in an office. I can't exactly pull an Orbax, and walk around with a 3 inch nail up my nose. Anyway, that seems drastic.
You might think this is the point where I ask for your feedback- turn the comments back on- but no. How would you possibly be able to advise me? Do children even notice you when you walk by? No? I thought not.
*pondering*
