The phone won't stop ringing. People are walking in and out of our space. The apartment has been rented, the furniture is traveling to new homes. There is only one piece of the “green furniture” I've had for 15 years remaining, and someone's coming for that tomorrow night. Even the cherished Honda Element is being given up.
That green furniture- I acquired that during the marginally illegal “great furniture caper” many years ago. During the almost 14 years Dallas and I have been together- girl, furniture and dog have all moved together, from place to place to place (probably 20 moves over the years!!). That green furniture was, I joke, the only thing that has ever passed for stability between me and Dallas. People, places, jobs have all come and go, with sometimes wrenching feeling. Whenever we'd move, which was often, Dallas would get nervous seeing the green furniture go into the truck, and she never fully relaxed until she was loaded up with it. She literally kept her eye on it from start to stop, not relaxing until we were all together in the new place. Strangely- it's this last piece of furniture, this old beaten up thing, that has me sitting on the kitchen floor today, finally overcome and tears coming down.
Dallas, Von and the green furniture... what a strange thing to get emotional over. I look up, and there's Dallas leaning into me. She had to get up and half-stagger over to me, and she paused, turned around, head nuzzling into my bowed head, and offered me her paw. Her eyes are turning blue, and she now responds better to hand-signals than our voices. It was much too much for my poor heart withstand. She was just at the vet again yesterday, and more tests are required, more conditions are worried over. At the dog-park the other day, some guy asked how old Dallas was, and on hearing “13,” he said to her softly, “Oh Dallas- you're going to break your mother's heart one of these days.”
Well of course I'm an emotional mess with that going on.
Life is suddenly moving so fast- My footing is suddenly unsure. In 2 and a half weeks- I'm going to wake up to an uncharted, unmapped, completely unplanned future. I don't mind telling you- I'm mildly terrified.
But excited...
