I never thought it would take three years to get over the grief that enveloped me when we said goodbye to Dallas. But somehow, those years were lived, the days passed, and we beheld days with a little less colour than before. Distance from the shock of events has slowly released death's grasp on my heart, and - if I don't think about it too much, and I especially don't speak of it- the light is returning, along with the warmer days.
In just 2 days, we mark Dallas' passing for the third time. It doesn't seem possible… that's my constant feeling when I think of it. It's not possible she should go, and it's not possible that she has been gone so long.
Thinking of her still aches in a deep region of my heart, but more and more it is the sunshine, the morning walks on frosty mornings and the memories of tremendous companionship that shine through. It feels that the curtain is finally opening. When she died, I posted a line from Julius Caesar on Facebook: "the bright day is done, and we are for the dark." These lines have certainly held true for me.
I will never forget that spring. It was a lot like this one, with perhaps a handful of warmer days and sunshine, and still a mix of some bitter cold. I remember feeling that if we could just get her over this prolonged bad spell that she could enjoy one more spring and one more summer- it felt so close and so out of reach at the same time. But we had our bright days in the sun - 15 full years worth of them, and we left nothing undone.
We've been continuing our adventures with friends' dogs such as Lady and Sam, for who we've been so grateful. And every so often we've dipped into our well of feeling and thought about getting another dog, but it hasn't felt right. Somehow, as if out of the blue, we feel the time is right to find our next pack-member. It's almost as if the grieving has ebbed, and the sense that something's missing has built to a point where it's become a bedfellow of thought. We need to find the music again.
We've been researching and toying with the idea for months, but this past weekend, we think we may have found our next friend. We went up to Nimiq Weimaraners in Shannonville to check out a long-haired Weim, and early signs point to us having been smitten. Details are still being sorted, but if all checks out and goes to plan, we may be dog-people with a dog again somewhere around April 18-20th.
~Ecclesiastes 3:1
